So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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