forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
