Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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