for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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