Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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