I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
