Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
