I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Operation Purity has been aborted
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
