Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
