we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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