I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
