BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
