Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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