batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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