I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
