This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
