dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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