the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
