so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
