Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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