So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
