He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
