I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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