doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
