Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
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Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
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Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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