there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
