This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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