Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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