It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
