I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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