I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wish i was in the wii world.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
