wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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