He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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