It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
