He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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