Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
