So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
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