at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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