i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
