Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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