That's intense
This is not my ceiling
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I love having hate sex.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
