she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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