I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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