life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
