no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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