If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
ttyl tear gas
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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