Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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