I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
