it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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