carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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