trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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