She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
