then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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