your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
