As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
