Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
