apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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