I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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