Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
