OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
