Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
