No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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