so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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