Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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