Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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