she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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