If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize