mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
