he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
